I had my first taste of a home invasion the night before last.   It turned out to be a dream, thankfully, but it was real enough when I was experiencing it that I found it valuable training in what I hope will never be a scenario I have to actually face.

In the dream my front door was wide open, as is sometimes the case on hot July/August evenings when we’re still suffering at 85 degrees even with the AC.

Normally we have a gate we put up to contain the dogs, but for some reason it wasn’t up.   The dogs were staying inside though and ultimately paid no mind to anything happening in the dream.

So I’m standing there in my living room when two guys walk by the house.    Not on the sidewalk, as is customary and a frequent occurrence on my street.    No, they walked right through my yard.   One of them was daring enough to have actually walked through the planters lining the front of my house, crossing the front porch in the process.    When I say they walked by my house, I mean they were within arms reach of it.

After they pass and are now trekking through my neighbor’s yard, both Gabe and I decide we should yell something after them.    Out the side window Gabe is screaming something about being quiet and I’m sticking my head out the front door demanding they stay off my yard.

Both guys turn around and chuck something toward me and the house.    One of them then decides to charge us, and starts running back toward my front door.  

I step inside, and this is where I am kind of intrigued by myself.   I actually thought through a strategy, in a dream!   I dismissed the idea that putting the gate up would buy me any real time, and instead decided the gate would be a good weapon.   I intended to close-line the guy as he entered the house, so I grabbed the gate and got ready.

In he came, his face painted up in black and white.  Kind of reminds me of insane clown posse.   He hits the gate I have up to ram into his neck/chest.    I turn to yell to Gabe, who has disappeared in the kitchen and is oblivious to our invasion, to warn him.

My actual vocal cords decided to work at this point and my yelling to Gabe was [incoherent] yelling in the real world, and that was the sound I woke up too… my own scream.

To make matters more interesting, I tell Gabe this dream and he informs me that he too had experienced a dream where the house we were in (not our real one in his dream) was being invaded and we had to contend with that.    Apparently in that one I was more inclined to hide and stay quiet than confront the intruder.

Needless to say, I am feeling rather unprepared for a real scenario.   As dry runs go, while I’m impressed by my dream-mind’s strategizing (despite some flaws in that strategy), I am far from ready for a home invasion.

As Gabe pointed out, I really want that security screen now.    I’ve wanted one anyway, as its nice to keep the door open on hot evenings, but it introduces more risk.     The bar that keeps my door from being kicked open doesn’t work if the door is open to begin with.    A solid security screen would serve to add a few precious seconds for me to escape, or hit the panic button and grab the bear-mace.    (We do have some preparations for this sort of thing in place… funny none of them came into play in the dream… clearly my mind’s first thoughts are not to make use of such things.)